Freaky Friday #3

26 03 2010

Freaky Friday: We can’t guarantee the following bits of weird news are true, but we almost did our best to find out!  Enjoy.

Guinea worms—in through the mouth, and out through the… knee?? In some countries, larvae of guinea worms living in water fleas lives are ingested when people drink the water. The worms grow for about a year, unbeknownst to their human host. Then they begin the painful process of leaving the body through the skin, which can take up to 2 months.  Yes, that’s right, two months with a worm hanging out of some place on your skin. The host seeks out water to soothe the burning sensation, which is when the worm deposits its larvae—and the cycle begins again. Successful eradication efforts are now taking place.

Male walruses have a baculum the size of some baseball bats.  Modesty prevents us from saying more.

Hey, need some progesterone and just don’t have time to see your provider for pills?  Here, have a walnut.

Let’s see, if a hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day, then here at PKIDs, we sweat up to…anybody got a measuring spoon?

How many kids go off to school with peanut butter sandwiches?  A pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs.  Eeeewwww. Where do we come up with this stuff?  More importantly, why do we do it? Hey, it’s fun.  And it’s Friday!

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Freaky Friday #2

19 03 2010

Freaky Friday: We can’t guarantee the following bits of weird news are true, but we almost did our best to find out!  Enjoy.

It’s getting harder to break the law and get away with it.  We can be identified by fingerprints, ear prints, tongue prints, and now our germs are ratting us out. We each have billions of microbes in us or on us, and those critters leave a “unique bacterial genetic signature” behind as we go about our daily business.

A meal for a person with pica might start off with a pebble salad, laundry starch on the side.  Then a couple of light bulbs, perhaps halogen, and hunter green paint chips sprinkled with needles for extra crunchiness.  For dessert, soft little clouds of plastic wrapped in string.  Hey, it’s an eating disorder.  What did you think?

Botox wipes the frowns lines away.  But does it also paralyze our emotions?  The brain tells the face to frown and waits for the report indicating there was a successful frown.  With Botox, there are no frown lines, the report gets screwed up, and emotions are misunderstood.  Good news is, Botox also prevents excessive sweating!  Boooyaaaaa.

Big rains brought abundance of bugs for thousands of spiders, who decided to make nice and work together to build the biggest freaking 600+ foot web your nightmares have ever conjured.

Where do we come up with this stuff?  More importantly, why do we do it? Hey, it’s fun.  And it’s Friday.

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